Music = Life

To me, music is my life. I've played the guitar before but I gave up. So I went to singing my tunes that I love. Which is a wide range from metal to pop, or dance to mellow atlernative, clasical to jazz, and everything in between. (Except Hispanic music, I do not want to remeber that side of my family) But Piano was and is one insutrument I have stuck with. Though after a while I do have to take a break from playing on the piano because my hands are way too cold. The piano is my relaxing time. And so this is basically saying to enjoy life, and just realx and chil and play or listen to music.

pic from Alphamind on DeviantArt link http://alphamind.deviantart.com/art/Flower-Piano-25999143

When the world ends...

This is mostly because there are a lot of people around me going though break ups or have been left.
The feeling that you were alive or the only girl in the world is always the best feeling. When he touched your hand, or even made jokes at your expense. And then when he leaves you, you feel like your going to die. That something is missing. Like when you fall onto a floor and it is cool you can stay there crying for hours.And when you see him with her, you are jealouse. It's so hard to admit but it is ture. That you feel so self concious that your not sure if your capable to attract men again. And then when someone does tries to get close to you, you worry about them being all wrong, or leaving you, that you can't let them in. And when another guy tries you just get to use to saying no. You can never really let someone in anymore unless it is him.
Music about break ups and wanting him back. Like for me it was "I Told You So" by Carrie Underwood and "Here Comes Goodbye" by Rascal Flatts. I cried when I heard those songs, and thought about him. It turned to the point where I had to create a whole new playlist with break up songs., Like "Too Little Too Late" by Thrish Thuy Trang, "Leave" by Jojo, and "Since You've Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. It did help so google or find break up songs like this to help you out.
Chances of getting back with your ex? It is possible. But remeber your not dating your ex. Your dating this new guy. You can not just jump into a the same old same old realtionship, this is like being with an entire differnt guy. But it most cases you argue a lot and it ends.
My advice,, Don't try it. Just enjoy life with someone else..or being single..it doesn't matter if you have a man in your life. You can make yourself 101% with what you can do. Just have to find yourself before you find your partner.

Goodluck it's not the end of the world
xoxo
avm.

F-r-e-e-d-o-m

That seven letter word may bring you back to the Fourth of July or Fireworks, but I'm talking about what we got out of it today-ishly.

I know I technically have no freedom since I am still under 18, but I don't care. I love it. When I went to CSU (go rams!!) for a week I got to live in dorms, and my parents were no where around. I could go to class, and then afterwards I could do whatever I wanted. Whether it was going to the gym, staying at my dorm, or going for a walk, playing ping-pong. I loved it. I could drink whatever I want, I could get up whenever I wanted (but not after 8 because I had class). But I had to wake myself up, be responsible. And I just was in complete bliss.
Or like yesterday I got to go to the store by myself (REALLY COOL HUH? (sarcasm)) But it was some sort of freedom, because I got to look at whatever I wanted, and try on clothes I wanted. And that's the freedom I love. And I can not wait till I go to college, because I would have the freedom once more. Or when I go traveling, that would be the ultimate freedom I could have.

That's it for now.
xoxo
AVM

The feeling of break up

Have you felt that piece missing? The piece that goes when someone finally ends it. Or when you end it and they have found someone else. Heartbreak. Well I finally am admitting love sucks. It really does. Who knows what love is? Divorces are on the all time high. People can not just commit. Even though there are some cases that it is okay. Like your husband is a killer, then I have nothing bad to say to you about your divorce. Just good luck.
But that feeling it is incredible. You can spend months, years, decade, a whole century with a person, and they leave. Because the better model is out. And for what? Most men expect that after marriage you bare their child, stay at home, cook, clean and raise their children while they fool around. Not being able to hold their stick in order. So you just wasted God knows how long doing what this man wanted you to do and not being able to travel to Ireland, go through the Nile, Sail the seven seas, Be romanced in Paris. Well it's completely messed up.
I don't want to be trapped for my whole life. I don't want to miss seeing Europe, Having a job I want, Going clubbing, Walking just because I can. I know it's hard to do those things. But I rather view the hard and cold world then be stuck in the stuffy house when a newborn in my hands. And everyone who is silly enough to read this blog entire is my witness to this Promise
I will never be stopped to do,see,want, and go by a man, I will not settle down till I have seen the world and somehow made a difference on some body's life.

The Whores of Today Society and Questions.

I hated my first through fourth grade years. Mostly because there was a girl (my negihbor) setted out to kill me. Or it had seemed that way. Her name Tia. She was so determined to get me in trouble. Stupid thing was I really didn't notice it. So basically I brought it up because I saw her "playing" on the streets, chasing some girl. That's a story twister.
But the ture sad part of it is that I know that girl (she's new to our street, just moved) probably thinks I am the horrible person. Even though 1 she has not met me, and 2 I don't go out to "play" with the neighborhood kids. It's idotic. All they do is hook up and kiss when they get older and before that they play tag which is an early exuse to touch or rub up against each other. Thefore I am hinting to Tia.
Why can't they pick up a book instead of a dildo? Why can't they stop making fun of the studying people trying to make a differnce of thier lives and make fun of thier tube tops even though they are fat as hell. (Yes I have issues with these peoples, they ruined half my childhood.)
But guess when they are in a one room apartment with five to seven kids, and see that the kids they made fun of are fashion desginers, journlist, president it'll be so much more fun. (And I am not talking just about me. Im talking about everyone who has been made fun of. This one be for ya'll.)

New and Finshed Painting

Title: LOVE

Medium: Watercolors (and paper cut outs)

Date finshed: July 4 Artist: Me

So this is a painting I had recently finshed. It really didn't get much views on deviantart. So I doubt it'll make any here. But I can try. o and 7734 is hell...if spelled on the caculator. And this piece was very much based on my emotions at the time. So yeah..

Hello (Intro)

Hello again. So again my name is Autumn. I LOVE MUSIC BTW. So if you have a music suggestion just let me know. I can listen to anything. Um. I love Gotan Project, The Pierces, Rise Against, Everything But The Girl, and Zero 7. Favorite Song is Black Roses Red by Alana Grace. I want to be a journalist. So hopefully this blog helps. I'm an antagonist.
Lol. Reading is my main proity in life. I am a still a student. And I love to stay busy. I take photos a lot. So you'll be one of the first to see them. I love to paint, but most of the time they come out not too good. I play the piano illy (as Lizy from Pride&Prejudice would say. Which I'm a huge fan of) And i will likely be complaining about stuff that happens in my life. I'm sournded by mindless teenage consumer driven lives. Which I also took part of. But at least I can control myself. And yeah. I lived with my grandmother and grandfather.
Where's your Mother and Father? Well they are here but not here. They take some part of my life but they are not fully part of it. I have to half-brothers (from my Mother) who are adorable. And I have a half-sister (from my Father, Edel) whom I do not know fully about just met her once.
At my school I am very deciated. My goals are to go to college (I would be the first one in my family to go to college if I succeed) My family wants me to go to the Naval Academy but at the moment I am not sure. I just recently attended CSU (Colorado State University) for a week on a class of Climate Change. Which has changed my life completely. So I do have a couple years to decided.
My hometown and my current residence is in Aurora, Colorado (really close to Denver.) I think I have more of a random personality. And the music around me changes my mood immediately. So you really can't epect my mood. So more later because it's like 11:22 and I am getting tired. And tomorrow's the fourth of July. So happy fourth of July to all of you.